What body image, inclusivity, and standing tall have to do with growing your business.
Growing up, I was always the big girl. In the last two years of primary school, I stood a full head taller than every other girl in class. By Intermediate school, some of the girls were catching up, and a couple of the boys had passed me. By high school, I still didn’t blend in ... I definitely wasn't the tallest anymore, but I was bigger; big boobs, big feet, broad shoulders. A big laugh. Big energy. And honestly? It made me self-conscious.
I felt like I was always too much. Too tall. Too loud. Too opinionated. Too emotional. Too bossy. Too dramatic. Too intense. (Tick them all off ... I’ve been called each of them more than once.)
And with that feeling of being too big, also the feeling of being “too much” followed me for years. In clothes shops, in group photos, in awkward compliments. Even this past weekend, during a manicure, the lovely (and slightly surprised) woman doing my nails commented on the size of my "very big middle finger" 😅 and then my hands, “You have hands as big as a man!”
Cue internal flashback to every moment I’ve felt too big for the space I’m in ... physically, emotionally, energetically. And also cue the deep breath where I decide not to shrink back this time.
And let’s be real, even though we've come a LONG way in making the world more inclusive, the world STILL doesn’t exactly rush to celebrate women like that. We’re told, subtly or not, to tone it down, slim it down, suck it in, soften it up. Fit in, not stand out. Smile politely. Be agreeable. Be nice. Be quiet. "Kylie, can you HEAR how LOUD you are??" Ummm, yep, I can!
Even the compliments were loaded:
“You're looking so good, have you lost weight?” (Newsflash! I look great at any size; I own it, and I love me!)
“You’re so confident!” (Said like it’s surprising. Why shouldn't I be confident?)
“You’re brave wearing that.” (Ugh.)
My favourite though was during an acupuncture session, "Oh, you're so beautiful, you could be a model, but you're just so fat!" Yes, English was her second language, and I'm aware that often that can mean subtleties are missed, but whatever, she still said it. On repeat! Oh, and this was when I was at least 30kgs lighter! Imagine what she'd say now ... 😅
It took me years, decades, actually, to untangle myself from those stories. And they still creep in. Loads of online sessions with Ash, The Happy Therapist, who I love to bits, and also I guess, just getting older and wiser and more sure of myself, and less giving-a-shit about what others think/say!
“Too much” is code for powerful, and that scares people
Women who take up space - in any way - tend to get labelled. You may have felt it too?
You're told to be confident, but not too confident.
To have ambition, but don’t make others uncomfortable with it.
To speak up, but not talk too much.
To be authentic, but not post too many selfies, but not post too few, either. Because we need to be visible!
It’s exhausting.
And it follows us right into our businesses.
Why this matters for business growth
Here’s where it gets real. All that conditioning to “be less”? It doesn’t just affect your self-image. It affects your visibility.
Women in business are often holding back. Not because they lack skill or value, but because they’re still fighting the fear of being seen as too much.
- They hesitate to go live or post a reel - “I don’t want to come across too pushy.”
- They water down their messaging - “I don’t want to be too out there.”
- They underprice their offers - “I don’t want people to think I’m greedy.”
- They try to be professional - but not too polished, or they'll seem arrogant. (Big fish small pond syndrome?!!)
And here’s the thing: this fear of being “too much” doesn’t just affect how we feel; it affects how we function. It can show up in sneaky, sabotaging ways:
👉 Holding back from pitching yourself for a podcast or speaking gig,
👉 Over-editing your content so it sounds beige instead of bold,
👉 Saying yes to too many requests to "be helpful" instead of charging properly,
👉 Downplaying your experience or qualifications so you seem “relatable.”
You second-guess instead of owning it. You play small instead of taking up the space that’s rightfully yours. And that means the people who need what you offer? They might not even find you.
But being visible in business isn’t just a marketing tactic, it’s an act of leadership. It tells your community: “Here I am, showing up in full, glorious colour. And you can too.”
Standing out doesn’t mean being flashy, fake, or over-the-top. It means being real. Fully you. Bold, bright, clear and confident, even if your hands are shaky or your voice is wobbly the first few times you do it.
Because when you stop apologising for who you are, and start using your voice on purpose, that’s when things start to shift. That’s when your business feels aligned. That’s when your audience starts leaning in. That’s when your people find you. That's when client attraction marketing is working at its finest!
REMEMBER: You can’t grow your business by shrinking yourself.
Blending in doesn’t lead to booking out.
Silencing your voice doesn’t build connection.
Toning it down won’t attract the people who need what you do.
The world needs women who are “too much”
Because “too much” is often just exactly right for the right people.
You don’t need to be smaller in body, ambition, presence, or personality to be successful.
You need to be seen.
That means showing up as you are. Big voice, big heart, big impact.
So …
If you’ve ever felt like you had to shrink to fit in; in clothes, in conversations, in spaces where you should’ve been celebrated, this is your reminder that taking up space is not a flaw. It’s not something to apologise for. It’s your superpower.
The next time someone says you're “too much,” smile and say, “I’m just getting started.”
PS: I'm running a free workshop next week at our Positive, Passionate Business Women meetup on how to write your superpower statement using some AI Prompts I've been developing, so you know how to introduce yourself and SHINE, in any situation! Register here.
PPS: I spotted a post today on LinkedIn from my brilliant friend Annette Densham. She's a total powerhouse when it comes to helping women get seen in all their glory (and helping them recognise their own awesomeness!) She’s the one who wrote my first three award submissions (yep, even when I felt super awkward about putting myself forward like that!). But honestly? Game-changer. Since then, I've been a much more confident version of me.
Annette also wrote a blog post on this exact topic ~ “Are You Too Much?” ~ and it’s well worth a read. She’s a joy to follow, full of wisdom, fun, and truth bombs. Here’s the link:
👉 Are You Too Much? – by Annette Densham